Happiness is Relative
On my personal Instagram account, I re-posted an infographic to my Insta story. The infographic gave examples of what it can feel like when you’re experiencing symptoms of depression.
Abbie, my loving sister, almost immediately sent me a private message, asking if I was “doing okay” or if the information I had just posted was just general information.
Quickly, I told her that yes, I was just posting the infographic was just “general information” and not a warning flag.
Once upon a time, I sincerely thought that my depression would just go away. As a teenager, I first experienced early onset of anxiety: I would worry irrationally that my Mom and Dad would leave the house, without first telling me where they were going. (This was before even early cellphones, before you could just pick up your portable device and call or text your family. Before you could track–on an iPhone, for example, your loved one’s whereabouts. All we had was a landline, a phone that was attached to the wall and could certainly not be taken with you when you leave the house.)
This would never, ever happen of course. Still, I kept worrying about the adults in my life disappearing and would follow my Dad downstairs to the basement, where we have our laundry room.
Because my parents hadn’t experienced this before, they didn’t know exactly how to react. My anxiety started when I was about 11 or 12. My little sister was around 5 or 6 at the time. Also during this time period I was beginning to show early signs of depression. It wasn’t serious yet, but over time, my depression would grow into a fiend that would randomly apparate in my mind, regardless of whether I was with friends/family or alone.
As a teenager, my anxiety and depression only got worse. I finally told my parents what I was feeling, and why. With medications, exercise, and therapy, I am doing so much better! I am once again exited about life. I’m surrounded and blessed with a wonderful family, an amazing fiancé, and friends I wouldn’t trade–even if I was offered a gazillion dollars.
30 amazing things about being in your 30s
- I’m the daughter of not one, not two, but three teachers: my mom, who taught Kindergarten for many, many years (officially retired); my dad who went back to teaching (after a year of retirement) & is now at the new high school in our town; & my “Little-Big” sister, who is already wrapping up her second year of teaching 5th grade!
- My family, close friends, fiancé & my Golden Retriever Charlie-girl all keep me grounded & are sources of incredible support. Thank you, thank you, thank you!
- After needing intestinal surgery in March of 2021, I am grateful for my good health
- I am forever grateful for the COVID-19 vaccine!
- I’ve officially entered my 3rd decade of life! While this might seem scary to some people, I’m proud of having made it this far
- There’s never a moment where I think, Self, you have ENOUGH books. (There’s always more books to be read, books to be discovered, & books to be re-read, let me tell you)
- I will get to see BLUE OCTOBER OPEN FOR THE GOO GOO DOLLS at RED ROCKS!! [circa July 27th, 2022]
- My entire family are fully vaccinated & boosted!
- More people are getting vaccinated!
- I’m engaged to the love of my life, Rory [since January 2021]
- Everyone I love & care about are doing well & staying healthy
- Shows I’m excited for: the third season of The Umbrella Academy, season 2 of Heartstopper, more of The Witcher, more of Disenchantment, & I really, really want a TV show of A Little Life
- There can never be enough cute puppy/baby videos on YouTube
- Rammstein released a new album, Zeit. It’s wonderful
- I bought new yarn & am gonna start (finally) making a scarf for my good friend Alex Hoyt.
- Yesterday, I got a haircut & went with a cute bob.
- It’s always nice to see people that I know personally or just from seeing them go through my check-out lane so often at work. (I cashier at Target.)
- I started reading Mary Jane by Jessica Anya Blau. It’s good so far!
- I’m going to go see Rory this coming weekend! I’m very excited.
- Family time is important to me. I try to hang out with my parents and sister more, & I’m still working on this, to be honest.
- The weather is getting nicer!
- I’ve got plenty of books to read, card games to play, & a new novel to write.
- I love seeing Charlie girl grow up. She’s the sweetest puppy!
- It’s now T-shirt & shorts weather! Whooo!
- Spring cleaning is a thing. That reminds me, I need to clean my desk. Again. *laughs*
- Driving places is more fun, because you can see all the greenery.
- Heartstopper is on Netflix!!
- I seriously just started listening to more of Panic! At the Disco and can’t get enough of “Death of a Bachelor”
- Still a Whovian, all these years later
- All in all, I’m having a grat tim (great time) being 31!