if I lost you

if I lost you,
I’d bury myself to the waist in sand
alive on the outside, a draining hourglass on the inside
I’d ink a little sailboat on the inside of my wrist
I’d miss your meals of party pizza and pizza rolls
I’d miss hearing all of your “boops” instead of “goodbyes”
I’d miss your narration as you gamed
I’d miss your laughs, the leg-jiggle in your voice
If I lost you,
I’d wail with the sirens of police cars,
I’d cry Alice a new river at the sight of anything red, your favorite color
if I lost you,
I’d scream myself hoarse,
my face smothered beneath my pillow
if I lost you,
I’d cry Alice a new river
you’d still be my North, though,
when I’d stumble South

M.B.B.
4/13/2020