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#poetry

Advice for Dating Someone with Asperger’s

  1. I listen to his concerns, for what clothing issues he might have. Note: When you go clothes shopping, you let him pick out comfortable articles of pants and shirts.
  1. Dear Self: You can tell him when you’re tired of his rants (for example) about the gaming company AE. It’s okay. Don’t feel bad about needing to change the subject.
  2. He is smart, his experiences are valid, and he is loved by his family, friends, and (most importantly) by me.
  3. Your relationship may not move along as quickly as some, but he doesn’t stray. He loves you more deeply than you can imagine, deeper than any pool of water, stronger than any yarn I’ve knitted.
  4. Believe that he can do things, because he believes in you.
  5. Rory is special, because I’m special, too. I understand what it’s like to struggle with making friends, that being social can tire us both out.
  6. I have PDDNOS, which means that I’m on the autism spectrum, but don’t fit under the umbrella like someone with Asperger’s. I have autistic tendencies, I say, because it’s easier to explain. I’m passionate about Blue October, the novel A Little Life, LGBTQ+ rights and issues, and learning new knitting patterns. I can talk your ear off about any of my favorite subjects. Rory knows this, and he can do the same for video games, science, history, and psychology tidbits . (He’s gotten better about listening to the flow of our conversations since I first started dating him.)
  7. Love on the autism spectrum is magical, because you’re both unique. We’re both living unicorns, wild and free in the shimmering forest. We’re eating from the same rainbow cup of ice cream. We’re animated about our different passions: writing, reading, and gaming. You like the prettiness of video games, and I love the pretty knitting patterns I discover on YouTube. We both light up when we’re together, a halo of light ringing our bodies.

M.B.B.
6/29/2020

Notes: Every person with autism is different. Every experience with autism is different. Some are high-functioning, while some people just need more love and care navigating our crazy world. This is my personal experience with dating someone who has Asperger’s, a form of autism. I too am on the autism spectrum. Both Rory’s and my experiences are unique. We have mutual friends who are also on the autism spectrum. We get along really well! It’s important to spread awareness (even in today’s world) about autism. For example, autism is not caused by vaccines. This is a myth spread through fear tactics and misunderstanding of vaccines and what science can do for us as human beings. I’m on the autism spectrum because of my prematurity at birth. On the other hand, my boyfriend Rory wasn’t born premature and happens to also be on the autism spectrum. He is high-functioning. Thank you for taking the time to listen and to read my poem.